TD Jakes says “in life you have three types of friends;
1. Those called “comrades” who are with you during the race but when the race is over they immediately leave like they were not with you at all and even sometimes turn against you.
2. Those called “constituents” who are with you only whilst you are winning the race but when you start loosing they are no where to be seen!
3. Those called “confidantes” who are with you before, during and after the race and who stay with you whether you win or loose!
If you have three confidantes in your life consider yourself lucky and don’t be angry with the rest just realise which category they fit into.
I have had my fair share of people whom whilst I was in the race I thought were my comrades, friends, partners and colleagues but once the race was over they were just like it says in Psalm 41:9 “Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me.” and also some of them even became my enemies and spoke evil against me with hatred and deceit as it is also written in Psalm 109:2-5 “For the mouth of the wicked and the mouth of the deceitful are opened against me: they have spoken against me with a lying tongue. They compassed me about also with words of hatred; and fought against me without a cause. For my love they are my adversaries: but I give myself unto prayer. And they have rewarded me evil for good, and hatred for my love. “
The “constituent” type of friends are the most frequent and fickle who pretend to be your friend when everything is good and you are doing well. The moment things take a down fall and you face challenges especially financial ones these friends are no where to be seen. Proverbs 19:4 “Wealth maketh many friends; but the poor is separated from his neighbour.”
Here are three other famous quotes that help us understand whether people are real friends or not;
“If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.” Mother Teresa
“Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” Helen Keller
Proverbs 18: 24 “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
The last one reminds me that some friends in our life are really like family. I look at my wife who is my best friend and she is like a sister and brother, my most loyal friends are my daughter and sister in law and my closest friend Lee who is a brother and loves me like one. Of course the list goes on but the point is that like in Kellers quote above walking in the light is easy to do on your own but in dark times a true friend sticks to you like family and no matter the circumstances.
I could think of no better friend to have than Jesus Christ who tells us in his word that all we need to do to be his friend is to be obedient to what he tells us to do “John 15:14 Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.”